Tagged: plenty of fish

A few suggestions for men regarding online dating profiles

I have been on a few dating web sites and use Plenty of Fish exclusively now. I have been on and off for a couple of years. Why am I still on? I haven’t found Mr. Right.

Male profiles, in general, stink. So, I have written down a few words of advice on how to make them better.

So just a little side note on profiles…

1.      Pictures are very important! You may think… I hate taking photos of myself, I hate selfies, and I hate how I look in pictures. OK, the reality is, photos are important.

a.      I do not usually get a good photo in one shot, which means I take 20 at a time. I go through them and if there is not a good shot, I take 20 more. It’s the digital age guys… you can delete any that are not your best face forward.

b.      Try for natural light without the sun beating down in your eyes making them squint. Go out around 5:00, reverse your camera phone, take photos… pretend you are watching something on your phone if you feel awkward.

c.      Think about happy things… The last woman you loved (not hated), how you would look at puppies playing, your child in your arms for the first time, a raise at work, a new car. Happy thoughts DO come through your eyes.

d.      Your eyes ARE the key to your soul. If I can’t see your eyes… I will likely pass on your profile. One pic with sunglasses is fine, all pics with sunglasses, or your main with sunglasses… sorry that is your first impression out there. My first impression is, ‘what is he hiding? Black circled baggy eyes?’

e.      Do not have photos of toilets in your pictures. Really… ugh. Get out of the bathroom.

f.       Do not post shirtless main photo. You can add one in if you wish on other photo spots, it is nice to see what is there, but the main, no. The exception would be at beach in swimsuit. Otherwise, you just look like you want to get laid.

g.      You should have at least one full body shot. I know it is hard to get full body shots, mine are not great but they are there. Hopefully most of you have friends that would help you out with this.

h.      If I can see a photo of you laughing or being mischievous, it is very very very appealing.

i.       Please take the time to post them right side up for goodness sake.  Sheesh.

2.      Don’t lie on your profiles!

a.      It is a waste of my time and yours.

                                                    i.     If you are 54, please don’t say that you are 44.

                                                   ii.     If you are 5’9” please don’t claim 6’1”

                                                  iii.     Athletic build is not a 40 inch waist. That generally is not average, that is a few extra pounds. If you are confused on this, look up body mass index. If you are overweight then be honest about it.

3.      Choosing ‘does not want a relationship of any kind’ or ‘putting serious effort into finding someone to marry’:

a.      Both will cause me to move on to next profile.

b.      I want a relationship: I do not want someone to think ‘marriage’ on first meet or really even within first year.

c.      If you are just looking for a lay: I do appreciate the honesty of ‘not wanting a relationship’.

d.      If you are just looking to get laid: PLEASE do not say ‘looking for a relationship’ (see #2.) Just put dating if you must.

4.      Take some time to write your paragraph. It’s your mini resume.

a.      SpeelCheek is your freind. Use it. Writ in word than copy n past. I am not a grett speeler so I now this can b hard.

b.      Yes, I read profiles. Yes, I do try to figure out if we have one damn thing in common. Don’t fluff, just say what you like and what you want.

c.      Please do not expound on your philosophies in life. It is good to do a few sentences, but preaching IS annoying.

d.      2 sentence profiles suck.

                                                    i.     Someone that looks like Brad Pitt could get away with a two sentence paragraph. You are not Brad Pitt. You are a single man looking for a fish. Give us some bait damn it.

e.      Negativity is a turn off.

                                                    i.     We all know how hard it is out there. Someone very negative will cause me to think ‘bitter’. When you slam women in your profile, you are thinking that when you meet them. We know this. Hide it! You may be thinking ‘what is she lying about now’ as you sit and drink coffee; but at least she believes that you are actually listening to her.